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“Whatever it takes…”

“Whatever it takes...”

Okay! My thoughts on Endgame! Here we go! Spoiler Alert, I didn’t like it that much but then I thought about it and I liked it a little more I think? …I don’t know I just like thinking about movies and stuff and yeah. Here’s what I’m thinking about…

But really. Spoilers from here.


I feel like this might be an obvious place to start, but it felt to me like it was unnecessarily long! There was so much that could have been cut for time, not to mention how the pacing was off the rails for the first two acts. You could go from dramatic sad scenes of rehab, to Paul Rudd in a storage unit, to Hipster Hulk taking selfies right after Black Widow sadly eats a sandwich. Those scenes on their own fit pretty well, but back to back just felt a bit messy in my opinion.

And messy just might be the best way I could describe Endgame I think. It was a fun enjoyable messy time. But also by contrast, if it was an event comic, I think I would have found it very neat and tidy. My comic fan brain and my college writer’s brain are clashing and it’s weird 😛

Nick Mason of The Weekly Planet described his movie experience in a very similar way that I experienced it:

“The theatre was like the wild west! People were moving around and texting and making nose and it could be distracting.” And I felt that at times. I had this vide that most people were getting bored with a lot of the extended exposition. Myself included.

I have no idea how people could have gone to see this five or six times though. Like oh my gosh it was nearly a four hour process for me to get to the theatre, watch the movie, then get back home… man. I’m still so tired. Almost a four days later and I’m still exhausted just thinking about it! 😛

This movie, in a nutshell, suffers from the same problems that the final Hobbit movie had. Most of the “Thanos and The Gem’s” story was over by by the time the movie started. Where as Infinity War was about Thanos as a character, this movie was about reuniting the A-Team, getting the gems, then fighting the big bad guy… and that’s about it. There’s a lot of stuff that was chucked into those three things, but like I don’t feel like it ALL needed to be in there. It was a lot of pouting or reminiscing on story we’ve already seen, then a big super cool battle that blew my socks off!

But like, the humor wasn’t quite right in more places than any other Marvel movie so far. It felt like DC humor, and that’s saying something. Squeezing in humor always breaks the drama and it did just that nearly every time. Basically any scene Thor was in, he broke the tension, but I’m gonna come back to than in a minute.

Most of the 2012 New York battle was really fun, but I can’t help but wonder what happened to Loki and the tesarract…

Think about it, if he got it and escaped back in 2012 after the battle, then the events going forward would be veeeery different, surely. Even if Cap did return the stone as a not-cube to the 70s where they finally ended up plucking it, Loki would still end up having it 2012 and escape with it right? Those events in 2012 still took place because it had to have been in the 70s to have been in 2012 for 2019 Tony to drop it.

The movie never comes back to it either. Like if he got the tesseract, then he wouldn’t be in jail in Thor 2 The Dark Thor. Then from there it’s safe to assume that Thor would have been killed by Doctor Who The Elf. Then with Thor gone, Age of Ultron would have had a very different outcome, then going even further to say that the events of Raganarok would have never taken place with Surtur, and in tandem leaving Hulk in space forever.

It feels kind of important to just not address after the fact. Or am I looking to deeply into this? 😛

Speaking of Thor… (here we go)

I didn’t like Thor! In fact I don’t think anybody liked what they did with Thor! (at least no one I’ve talked with liked Thor)

He was probably my least favorite part of the movie, which at times pulled me out of the drama and tension of scenes, and overall just felt poorly handled and trashy for a few cheap gags. It’s 2019 and we’re still making fun of fat people? Come on! Laaaaame! Get some new material!

You could have something like Thor being aware he let himself go. He could have a little chub that makes him just look kinda average and he hates it, but he still looks like a hunky Asgardian in most senses.

That’s the joke right there! A slight imperfection to a human, but a big deal to a Norse God. Not a shitty fat suit through the ENTIRE MOVIE! WHO THOUGHT THAT WAS A GOOD IDEA?! EVEN THE STUPID BEARD BRAID OH MY GOD I HATED IT!

I mean part of his charm is that he’s a dummy, but he can back himself by his own brawn and bravery and share it with others. When you take that away from him for cheap jokes, he’s borderline dislikable. I mean think about that kick-ass scene in Ragnarock where Zeppelin is playing as he rocks up on the rainbow bridge!

Now think of Endgame Thor in a hoodie.


Man, what a disappointment.

But on the other side of the coin…

Captain America was perfect! He’s one of the few comic book characters to have a solid character arc through every single one of his movies. He’s never wavered or changed (unlike Thor for example, or the forgotten PTSD Tony)

Cap being worthy of Mjolnir was a bit corny to see on screen but it fit the character and was really exciting in the moment. I mean it isn’t the first time he’s wielded it anyway so I’m not mad about it, but I saw it coming from a mile away and I think that’s why I didn’t like it in hindsight, but it was still really fun and he used it in fun new ways of combat that Thor never did! That moment in the theater though was really fun! 😛

But really, Steve’s final arc was the best send off for a Movie Superhero I’ve ever scene! Possibly even better than Logan! For one, it gives future writers room for more stories between then and now, but his final moments with Peggy were fantastic and I certainly teared up for them 🙂

On a totally different topic, I found it almost too convenient that 2014 Nebula had the ability to develop reverse memories…? Being in the same time as your past self won’t fuse your memory even if you’re a cyborg, right? It didn’t happen to anyone else, so why only her? And why doesn’t it go both ways simultaneously instead of hours later, when it’s mere seconds before they’re about to leave with the stone?

Because of drama that’s why.

Also, maybe this is just my opinions kicking around again, but 2014 Thanos flying into the quantum realm to time travel, and just getting the gems by blowing up the compound really felt like it undermines the entire journey he took in the last film. It felt like he had no depth as a character and was basically Steppenwolf. His whole resource management thing was out the window for just a big ole’ “I just want everyone to like me and if they don’t I’ll just dust em!”

But also like… that wasn’t the character we all watched in IW anyway, so yeah. Maybe I just expected a little more from him, that’s all.

Along with that thought, I felt like the scene with the Soul Stone, Nat, and Hawkeye felt repetitive. Watching Clint and Natasha debate felt quite same-y from Infinity War’s very similar scene. The first time seeing it, it was visually impressive and shocking to see Red Skull again after being missing from like ten movies; but this time it just felt like it took up too much time for something that we had already gone over before. All we needed to know was who was going to sacrifice themselves in the end.

(But that scene when the full team gets back together and start to celebrating, then they realise Natasha is gone… Oh man what a good scene!)

Also I personally think that it should have been Hawkeye that died, but we needed him to be around for his family because Black Widow never got her own backstory or family or even her own film to cling to so yeah. I get it.

Also also, if it was five years later Ned would have been out of high school by now, right? Or did he get snapped too? If so (more than likely because he was the same age and not five years older like Cassy), no time would have passed for him like none had passed for Peter… So why the reunion hug? I need more information for it scene to have emotional gravity!

Aaaghhhh! I almost forgot to talk about Danvers!

Captain Marvel was a nothing character! She showed up at the beginning to be like “Hey I know who Thanos is too but like I’m kinda too busy to fully care so byeeee”

Then three hours later without popping in, benefiting the plot, or contributing to anything in the overarching story, she just shows up and solves all their problems by blowing up the big triangle ship; then she doesn’t even speak to anybody after the battle! I mean why even have her in the movie at all?

Okay sorry… things I like… Staying positive about a movie full of action figures… *deep breath*

The 1970s were pretty fun, Howard was nice, the classic Antman Helmet was cool, Peggy’s scene was heartbreaking.

I like that Gwyneth Paltrow was reading a book on compost. (If you get it, than you get it)

Hipster hulk was weird… But I mean there was a good message behind it, to learn to live with yourself and all that, but his overall vibe was odd. Also why waste like five minutes on the selfie scene? Like it was awkward for the characters and it was awkward watching it and this movie was so long! Why dwell on it for so long?

But that end battle was incredible and I keep coming back to it! The action was incredible! It blew my mind at how cool it all was! But like yeah Danvers at the end felt just a bit too cliche and killed the vibe towards the end.

Yeah… I don’t know man. I’ve got a lot of thoughts.

I mean for instance, what are the consequences of bringing back half the population after five years of absence? Ecosystems have changed, weather has changed, life in general has changed from the mass population exodus! You can’t just go from 3.5 billion people after five years then back to 7 billion. It just wouldn’t be the same. Think of bringing back say, a pilot of an airplane that killed people that didn’t die in the snap. Or like members of international governments returning to power. Food production and consumption, along with trade and stocks. Or little things like single parents with kids. Prison Establishments. Hospitals. Educational facilities… Gaaaahhh!

…Spider-Man’s next movie is gonna have a lot to answer for.

But really, I did quite like it. Yet at the same time, I didn’t.

So yeah.

…Thaaat’s, the tooth.


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Posted by Andrew Cookston on 2019-05-01 19:20:02

Tagged: , Lego , Marvel , Comics , Avengers , Endgame , Captain America , Quantum , Realm , Suit , Superhero , Custom , Minifig , Macro , Toy , Still , Life , Photography , Andrew , Cookston , Andrew Cookston

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